Fearless

I am fearless. But that’s not true. It’s not that I’m scared of spiders or cockroaches. It’s more than that.

I think we all know that we are in a middle of a war. The casualties from this COVID-19 pandemic continues to rise and it is devastating. More devastating are the news that healthcare frontliners are becoming casualties themselves. The news of doctors – from China, Italy, France, Indonesia, Philippines and more – dying from getting infected with the novel corona virus from patients they are trying to save, sends shivers to my spine.

I know there are risks from my chosen profession. From being overworked and being sleep deprived to being cursed by patients and being sued, that goes with the territory of our duties. I can live with that. But to risk your own life from contracting a possible deadly disease and even worse, to endanger your own family from passing on the illness at home makes me afraid. Very afraid.

For those people who are not taking this pandemic seriously and continues to party or not follow the recommended social distancing and community quarantine, or for those who think they are strong and invincible, please think again. If it’s not you who would be severely affected, it may be someone that you love that could suffer, because of your foolish actions.

Today, I came face to face with only my mask in between, with this deadly disease in our ICU. As I place an endotracheal tube to the patient’s passageways to hook her to a ventilator, I can only pray that my personal protective gear will be enough shield from this invisible enemy. Though I pray even more that heaven’s hand will be my shield.

I know this is only the beginning of my daily battle and confrontation with this foe. And it is expected that the worse is yet to come.

Fearless or not, I swore an oath to do this job. So help me God.

(*photo taken at Jardin du Palais Royal)

14 thoughts on “Fearless

  1. As a postgraduate intern, it is so sad that we are not officially part of the workforce and we are being pulled out from our assigned hospitals wherein we are needed the most. The least that we can do is to continue improvising PPEs and by distributing it to different hospitals and also by offering prayers. Thank you for your service.

  2. I can empathize with you Doc. My wife is a nurse here in California. Covid-19 is also rising rapidly here in Los Angeles. She’s scared to bring the virus to us and to her 92- year old mother living with us. Prayers for you !

    • I have so much respect for the nurses. She should be careful as well. We now employ specific precautions in our household that I cannot enter the house without changing my clothes in the garage and putting on gloves so I would not contaminate anything I touch and I go straight to the shower, while my my hospital clothes get sprayed and goes straight to the washer.

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