There is an ancient belief that swans sing a beautiful song just before they die. Whether this is scientifically true or not does not matter, as “swan song” has become a metaphorical phrase or a poetic term that means giving a final gesture or performance before saying goodbye.
A few weeks ago, I thought of ending it. Not my life, silly. I meant this blog.
After 7 years and 7 months of blogging, and after writing more than 700 posts, I just thought it was time for me to sing my swan song.
It is not that I have declining readership. In fact, last month was the most successful month with regards to number of visits, ever since the inception of this blog. It’s not also that I am losing my fire to write nor I am running out of ideas. On the contrary, my desire to write burns intensely as ever, and my ideas of what to write overflows from my brain like a bad bout of diarrhea.
But it might be those same reasons that I considered ending this blog. Seeing that my readership and followers are constantly increasing, I have this almost compelling urge to check my blog stats to see if I could break my previous stat records. Maybe I can get another 100 or 1000 more visits a day? Or maybe I can get another 100 new followers or more? I also experience intense anticipation of how many “likes” could I have on my new post or the next one. The craving to get more, more, and more.
I have not earned a single cent from blogging anyway, and I made that conscious decision to be that way. No sponsors, no ads. So that’s not even the issue.
Don’t get the idea that I am one of those elite bloggers who have a gazillion readers and followers. I’m not even close to that category.
Desiring to have a busy blog traffic and getting people to “like” your articles can be good, but it can wear you down as well. Like a bad itch or addiction. Plus the persistent pressure to outperform myself and the constant pursuit to please. Writing should de-stress me, not stress me out.
And that’s the reason, I thought I should end this blog. At least I am ending it on my own terms.
However, as I was writing my swan song, I realized that I still enjoy writing. Never mind if hundreds of people are reading my articles or it’s just me. Never mind if several readers push the “like” button or none. I don’t need to write for the approval of others. Never mind if my last post was a week ago or a month ago. No pressure.
I came back to the realization of my basic reason why I started this blog. I blog because I want to and for the simple joy of writing. Nothing else.
I guess my swan song article will remain unpublished. Together with some other 18 or so unpublished posts that will remain in my draft bin.
Swan song anyway, is just a myth.
(*photo taken in Boston Common)