No Swan Song

There is an ancient belief that swans sing a beautiful song just before they die. Whether this is scientifically true or not does not matter, as “swan song” has become a metaphorical phrase or a poetic term that means giving a final gesture or performance before saying goodbye.

A few weeks ago, I thought of ending it. Not my life, silly. I meant this blog.

After 7 years and 7 months of blogging, and after writing more than 700 posts, I just thought it was time for me to sing my swan song.

It is not that I have declining readership. In fact, last month was the most successful month with regards to number of visits, ever since the inception of this blog. It’s not also that I am losing my fire to write nor I am running out of ideas. On the contrary, my desire to write burns intensely as ever, and my ideas of what to write overflows from my brain like a bad bout of diarrhea.

But it might be those same reasons that I considered ending this blog. Seeing that my readership and followers are constantly increasing, I have this almost compelling urge to check my blog stats to see if I could break my previous stat records. Maybe I can get another 100 or 1000 more visits a day? Or maybe I can get another 100 new followers or more? I also experience intense anticipation of how many “likes” could I have on my new post or the next one. The craving to get more, more, and more.

I have not earned a single cent from blogging anyway, and I made that conscious decision to be that way. No sponsors, no ads. So that’s not even the issue.

Don’t get the idea that I am one of those elite bloggers who have a gazillion readers and followers. I’m not even close to that category.

Desiring to have a busy blog traffic and getting people to “like” your articles can be good, but it can wear you down as well. Like a bad itch or addiction. Plus the persistent pressure to outperform myself and the constant pursuit to please. Writing should de-stress me, not stress me out.

And that’s the reason, I thought I should end this blog. At least I am ending it on my own terms.

However, as I was writing my swan song, I realized that I still enjoy writing. Never mind if hundreds of people are reading my articles or it’s just me. Never mind if several readers push the “like” button or none. I don’t need to write for the approval of others. Never mind if my last post was a week ago or a month ago. No pressure.

I came back to the realization of my basic reason why I started this blog. I blog because I want to and for the simple joy of writing. Nothing else.

I guess my swan song article will remain unpublished. Together with some other 18 or so unpublished posts that will remain in my draft bin.

Swan song anyway, is just a myth.

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(*photo taken in Boston Common)

 

6 thoughts on “No Swan Song

  1. I sometimes find myself obsessing with the stats too, but it usually happens when my Reader runs out of new posts to show me. In my case I think it’s my love for reading about other people (read: pagiging tsismosa) that sustains my presence in WordPress.

    Anyways I really hope you don’t get to post your swan song, Doc. You’re one of the few interesting expat blogs I follow and reading about other Pinoy experiences abroad keep me company in the loneliest of times. Wow nagdrama?!

    Okay ang haba na nito! Keep posting Doc please! 😀

  2. I laughed at how you compared the overflow of writing ideas write to a bad bout of diarrhea. What a simile, hahaha!

    I hope you continue writing for the joy if writing. The stats and wide readership would be just a bonus. I hope all is going well!

  3. Palaging sinasabi sa’kin ng Papa ko, “pwede namang magpahinga pero wag titigil.” Lalo pa siguro kung gusto at masaya naman tayo sa ginagawa natin.

    Sabi nga ni Ate Jolens, I hope you don’t get to post your swan song, Doc. But if ever the time came, we would still be happy for you kung ano man maging desisyon mo. 🙂

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