Old Man

I had another birthday. If you don’t know it yet, my son and I share the same birth date. But as he is turning into a young man, I am growing into an old man.

We did not have a big celebration though, and in fact during our birthday, we drove more than 100 miles to my daughter’s university to watch her perform during a competition of their school’s top music students. So we just had our birthday dinner at my daughter’s university’s cafeteria. But we still grab an ice cream treat from there.

Even though we did not have a party or a fancy celebration, the best part of my birthday is that we spent it together as a family. I know as our children gets older and they go to college or move out and have their own lives, gathering together can get more and more infrequent.

It’s getting warmer in our part of the world, so we can spend more time outdoors again. And last night, my son and I played some basketball in our driveway hoops, perhaps inspired by all these NCAA March Madness. I know the NCAA basketball championship is all set between Virginia and Texas Tech tomorrow.

We spent many summers playing in our driveway hoops. It is here that I taught my son how to dribble the ball, how to drive into the basket and do a lay-up, how to do jump shots and some other fundamentals. Maybe I taught him more than just basketball here, like how to whole-heartedly compete and yet staying gracious in win or defeat.

photo taken 9 years ago when my son was 7 years old

But this time it is different. My son is now taller, even taller than me maybe by half an inch, and he is way more muscular and agile.

When we played one-on-one, it did not take me long to realize that I cannot compete against him anymore. I was just no match to his quickness and strength. He kept on blowing by me when he drives to the basket, he jumped higher to get the rebounds, and I can’t even reach his pull-up jumpers.

I tried all the ‘old man’ tricks I know, which in our language is called ‘gulang,’ but it was still a no contest. I was clearly overmatched. And every time he blows by me or make a basket, he lovingly teased me, “Come on old man!”

In spite of that, I can say that I could still run, jump and play basketball. Or at least a semblance of playing basketball.

Last night was a ‘passing of the torch’ moment for me.

I humbly accepted defeat. Not necessarily from my son, but from father time.


Into the Next Frontier

I made it!

With another birthday under my belt, it is official. I have outlived my father.

After a certain age, people don’t like having birthdays anymore. I guess it is when the number of candles in your birthday cake is deemed a fire hazard, that getting older another year can also be deemed as a health hazard. Though a friend of mine sent me this text message: “Birthdays are good for your health; studies have shown that people who have more birthdays live longer.” Hah!

But before you all wildly congratulate me on reaching such a significant milestone (at least it is for me), the bar that was set was really low. You see, my father passed away less than a month before his 51st birthday.

My grandfathers, on both mother’s and father’s side, did not walk that long on this earth either. My mother’s dad died when he was in his 30’s, and my dad’s father did not last much beyond his 50’s. That’s why I never had the chance to meet my grandfathers.

Come to think of it, my children did not meet their grandfathers too, as both my father and my wife’s father died way before our kids were born. In fact they died even before my wife and I met. We need to break this chain.

I may consider that I am now walking on uncharted territory. But I am eager and hopeful on what lies ahead on what my father and grandfathers were not able to explore. The frontier of growing old.

It is interesting though that what age we consider old depends on what stage in life were in. In one article I read, they asked different people on when do they consider the start of  old age. Here’s their answer:

5-year-olds: Old age begins at 13.
13-year-olds: Old age begins at 30.
30-year-olds: Old age begins at 50.
50-year-olds: Old age begins at 75.
75-year-olds: Never. And go away.

For me, I still would not consider myself old. Not yet. Not after another 50 years. And if you don’t agree with me, go away!

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I am not ready to slow down just yet. In my mind I believe that there is still enough bounce left in me. Though my joints may tell me otherwise.

It is spring time and getting warmer here. It’s time once again to run outdoors and start preparing for another half marathon. I need new running shoes though. Perhaps I can get a discount through AARP.

(*photo taken few months ago)