I got a new book! It was a “pasalubong” from our friend when their family came back from their vacation in the Philippines.
The book is Ngalang Pinoy: A Primer on Filipino Wordplay. It is a collection of peculiar names that were hatched by the ever creative Pinoy mind.
Here are some of the examples, listed in the book, names of Filipino stores and businesses that are existing in our beloved country.
Goto Heaven Goto eatery
En-Chic Chinese restaurant
Cooking ng Ina Mo carinderia in Mandaluyong
Cooking ng Ina Mo Rin carinderia right across Cooking ng Ina Mo
Shinto-Nado karaoke bar
Monay Lisa bakery
Cinna Von laundromat
Copy Cat photocopy shop
You Kneaded Me massage parlor
i2i eyewear shop
Petal Attraction flower shop
Alabank a rural bank in Alabang
Last Trip funeral parlor
Brew-Huh coffee shop
James Tailor tailor shop
To Home It May Concern furniture store
Hair Today Gone Tomorrow beauty parlor
Shoes Ko Po! shoes and bags repair shop
(*image from here)
I have some interesting names that I can think of too, if I will have my own business. If I have a Karate studio, I would name it Kicking Pinoy (Hindi ‘yan bastos, ah). But I don’t know any martial arts or any self-defense for that matter, except running away, so a studio will never materialize.
How about if I have a beauty parlor, I would name it Beauty Nga Sa’yo. Or if I have a puto and bibingka stand, I would call it Putong Inamoy. Or if I am to establish a pawn shop and rival Tambunting, I’ll name it Walang Pawn-do.
If for real, that I will practice as a lung doctor (what I am now) and have my own Pulmonary Clinic in the Philippines, I can name it Pulmo Niya. Then I can put an ad for: nagkukumpuni ng sirang baga, may hika, ubo, at naka-tubo.
Back to the book Ngalang Pinoy, here are some of its collection of Filipino names that got Americanized.
Alfonso de Asis Alzheimer’s Disease
Bienvenido Jurado Ben Hur
Burgos Reyes Burger King
Casimiro Bocaycay Cashmere Bouquet
Eliutario Ignacio Electric Ignition
Federico Hagibis Federal Express
Francisco Portero Frank Porter
Juan Tampipi John Samsonite
Juanito Lakarin Johnny Walker
Leon Mangubat Tiger Woods
Ligaya Almundo Joy to the World
Ligaya Anonuevo Happy New Year
Maria Natividad Merry Christmas
Restituto Fruto Tutti Fruti
Rogelio Dagdag Roger Moore
Topacio Mamarail Top Gun
Victoria Malihim Victoria’s Secret
(*Ngalang Pinoy is edited by Neni Sta. Romana-Cruz and published by Tahanan Books)
What a great post! Made me laugh 😉
“Juanito Lakarin – Johnny Walker” Classic! 😛 LOL! Love the post…
Enjoyed this very much. My daughter laments that it’s very hard for her to share these pinoy wordplay humor with her non-Filipino friends. Most of them are such. This is until she met Maxine, the best friend of her boyfriend’s sister, who’s half French half Filipino from Georgia. So, we just giggle about these whenever she comes to visit us or the odd time she goes to Manila or when she’s with her cousins.
Or you can build a motel chain (notoriously rampant there, as you know) and name it Count To Ten.