Home Sweet Home

Several weeks ago, when my son came home from a weekend autumn camping, as soon as he entered our door, he shouted: “Hoooooome, sweet home!”

Maybe he sorely missed his comfortable bed after sleeping for 2 nights in a tent and on a hard ground. Or maybe he was yearning for a warm shower, as he had not showered for 2 days, for the campsite where they went to did not have shower facility. Or maybe he got sick enough from using the porta potty, as again they did not have restrooms with running water. Or maybe he was longing for his mother’s delicious home cooking. Or maybe he just missed home.

But this was not an isolated occurrence. In fact, every time we come home, whether it was from a rugged camping, or from a luxurious outing, from a short excursion, or from a long road trip, or even from a dream vacation, like Disney World and Hawaii, he still calls “Hoooome, sweet home!” as soon as we enter our current home here in Iowa.

That makes me ponder, do my kids really regard our home as a “sweet home?”

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Recently, my wife have transposed our old video cassette tapes into DVD’s and we watched a few of the tapes we have. I enjoyed specifically the ones when my daughter and son were much younger, when we first moved in to this house. Our first summer. Our first Thanksgiving. Our first winter. Our first Christmas. Our first Christmas tree. And other special events.

But there are also the “not-so-special” events that may have not been videotaped, but captured in my memory nonetheless. My kids running in the yard. Raking the fallen leaves and then jumping into the pile of leaves. Watching the deer in the yard, eating our flowers. My wife chasing the deer away. Plowing and shoveling snow (though that’s not my favorite). My kids making snow forts and igloos. The hurried breakfast. The more relaxed dinner. The bedtime rituals with my children. My kids playing music. And the times we just plain playing goofy.

We have lived in this house for barely 10 years, yet I am already packing so much memories in this home, that will last a lifetime. I know I have cherished memories from our home in Sampaloc Manila where I spent more than 25 years of my life. But those memories are now being rivaled in this home where we currently live.

As I looked into every corner of this house, there’s a fond and loving memory attached to every nook of it. The porch. The stairways. The kitchen. The family room. The sun room. The basketball driveway. The yard. And even the guest bedroom, where my mother who have recently passed on, spent several months with us, every time she came for a visit.

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Yet in the end, I don’t think it is the house itself.  Rather it is the people that we surround ourselves and share these beautiful moments with, that is really more precious. And those people, we call our family.

As we approach another Thanksgiving season, just like the Pilgrims of old, who celebrated and gave thanks for their new country and their new home, I join them, and as a pilgrim myself, in thanking God for our home sweet home.

Last night, as we experienced an early snowfall this season, and after driving, or should I say slipping and sliding in the snow, and after a few tense moments of treacherous travel, we finally arrived home safe and sound. After pulling up in our driveway and entering our garage, my son once again exclaimed, “Hooooome sweet home!”

Right after he got out of the car and entered the house, he also complained, “Mom, it still smell like fish in here!”

It is home alright.

(*photos taken with an iPhone)

Thankful Pilgrim or Dreadful Turkey

For the past several weeks now, I have been dreading the coming Thanksgiving Holiday and its weekend. It’s not that I am hosting a big and extravagant Thanksgiving dinner. It’s not that I am having difficult and crabby guests for the holiday. And it’s not that I am fearful of how much my wife will splurge on shopping on Black Friday. Nor am I panicking that I have to do the early Friday morning shopping myself and fight the huge crowd of rowdy shoppers. No, it’s not all those at all.

This year I got the short straw of the draw and I will be working on Thanksgiving holiday and the whole weekend.  That means I am starting my call on Wednesday night, the whole Thanksgiving Day (Thursday), up to Black Friday, and continuing to the weekend (Saturday and Sunday). Yes, that’s more than 100 continuous hours of being on-call. This is the reason I don’t feel like a grateful Pilgrim. I feel more like the turkey that will be slaughtered for the Thanksgiving dinner!

As the holiday comes nearer, the more foul (or fowl- like a turkey!) my mood turns and the less thankful I feel. Until this morning….

In our clinic today, I met this “unfortunate” patient. He just buried his wife a couple of months ago, after she had a long battle with cancer. Now, he in turn was also diagnosed, a few days ago, with an unresectable cancer, that already spread. He was scheduled to start chemotherapy and radiation therapy right after the Thanksgiving holiday. And he is barely in his fifties. But in spite of all of his troubles, he managed to keep a positive outlook. He told me that he will celebrate this Thanksgiving with his daughters, for there are still “things to be thankful for.”

That man put me to shame. I really have nothing to complain about. And I really have a lot to be thankful for.

I am thankful that I will be working this holiday and the weekend, for that means I have a job. Considering that about 10% of Americans are currently unemployed (I have no idea of how many people are jobless in the world, probably millions), that is something to be grateful for.

I am thankful that I will be taking care of the sick patients in the hospital, and not the one who is sick that needed to be taken care of. Considering how ill our patients are, especially those in the ICU, I should really be filled with gratitude.

I am thankful that even though I may not dine with my family for the Thanksgiving dinner, at least I have a family that I can dine with, and be with, the rest of the days of the year. Considering that some people have no family to be with, I should be more appreciative of what I have.

Most of all, I should be thankful to my Creator that he created me as a human, so that I can experience how to laugh (and sometimes cry), how to love (and be loved), and how to live. Considering that I could have been a turkey. Really.

Thanksgiving, I believe, should not be limited to the observance of just the specific day itself. Thanksgiving is supposed to be the attitude of our life, and it should be our way of living. Nor should thanksgiving be limited to the specific circumstances in life that we are in. For as my wonderful patient have reminded me, there are always “things to be thankful for.”

As we celebrate this Thanksgiving, whether you are working or off this holiday, whether you are with your family or not, whether you are home or have no home, may we experience the right spirit of this season. Happy Thanksgiving!

I wonder if they will be serving turkey in the hospital cafeteria?

(*image from here)

Pinoy Pilgrims and Thanksgiving

(The following article was published in Manila Standard Today on November 11, 2010, in their Diaspora section.)

One tradition of the American culture that is new to me is the celebration of the Thanksgiving holiday.  The Philippines has no equivalent holiday like this one.

I am not saying that Filipinos are less thankful people. In fact we have several sort-of holidays, called fiestas thanking different patron saints. Each city, town, barrio, barangay and even individual street have their own fiesta. Moreover, we as a people find many reasons to celebrate by feasting and drinking. Just like people in my neighborhood where I grew up: all they need as a reason to celebrate was that it was night, and they would gather in our street corner and have their endless rounds of beer and pulutan. I am just thankful that they did not have karaoke. That will be pure torture.

The holiday of Thanksgiving here in the United States dates back to the 1600’s from the early English settlers called the Pilgrims. After surviving the treacherous journey across the Atlantic when they left their motherland England, aboard the ship Mayflower, then surviving the harsh winter in their new land, and then finally after a successful fall harvest, that they held a thanksgiving festival. Though it became a yearly tradition of the new colonies, it was not until 1863 that Abraham Lincoln proclaimed Thanksgiving a national holiday to be held every November.

Thanksgiving celebration by the Pilgrims

Over the years the tradition of Thanksgiving have evolved to how it is celebrated now. First, it is also colloquially  known as the Turkey Day as the traditional main course of the Thanksgiving dinner is turkey. During this season everybody will be giving thanks except for the more than 45 million turkeys that will be “sacrificed” for Americans to celebrate this day. Definitely not a good day if you are a turkey. For me though, even after several years of being here in the US, I still don’t care much for the turkey and would prefer galunggong over it.

Then there are  the Thanksgiving parades. The most popular is the Macy’s Parade in New York City, with all the colorful floats, performers and music bands, and beautiful gigantic balloons. We lived in NYC for a few years but did not have a chance to see it live. Perhaps we’re just afraid of the bone chilling cold to stand outside for a long time, so we just watched it on TV in the comfort of our heated apartment. Now that we moved out of NYC, I still watch the parade on TV. If more and more Filipino migrants will be celebrating this holiday, maybe someday I will see an Ati-Atihan band (wearing parkas?) in the Thanksgiving parade.

The other big thing in this holiday tradition is the nationally televised football games during this day. Every level of football, from high school, to college to NFL games, are played during this day. Though “football” in the rest of the world means soccer, in the US, football is the American football.  I am not a fan of football,  and it took me some time to understand the game, in fact, I still don’t fully understand it. It sure has more complicated rules than tumbang preso. I though find it amusing when the players push, shove, hit and pile over each other.

Thanksgiving Postcard circa 1900 showing turkey and football

The most important thing, I think, for this holiday is the family reunion and gathering. Family members that are scattered from all over the US will travel back to their home, regardless of how many miles away they are, to gather around the table as a family for the Thanksgiving dinner. This is one of the most busiest time for travel whether by roads, trains, or air. The family reunion part gives me a twinge of longing, for as a transplant, I have no “real” home and family here in the US that I can go to, to celebrate this holiday.

During our years in the US, we celebrated Thanksgiving with other Filipino friends who just like us have no real family here. So we fellow Filipinos have become our new adopted and extended family. We will celebrate it the Pinoy way, with kare-kare, tinolang manok, and relyenong bangus as main dishes rather than turkey. Maybe we just don’t know how to cook the turkey. Then we will have leche flan, buko salad, ube and other Pinoy desserts rather than pumpkin pies. Our food is more like a barrio fiesta rather than the traditional Thanksgiving dinner, but perhaps our spirit of thanksgiving is closer to the first pilgrims’. We as a group, have also left our motherland, aboard not by the Mayflower ship, but rather by Boeing 747 fleet. We survived a harsh transition into this new country and now giving thanks for our blessings.

Traditional Thanksgiving Dinner

More recently, when we moved to the Midwest, we have been celebrating Thanksgiving with a certain family and it is becoming our new tradition. The head of this family is an American and he is married to a Filipina. They are very good cooks. The American husband introduced us to the real traditional American Thanksgiving cuisine. He prepared roasted turkey, cranberry sauce, bread stuffings, green bean casserole, mashed potato, yams, pomegranate gelatin and pumpkin pies. Now I can say that I have had a real American Thanksgiving dinner. Of course we still have the pansit, fried tilapia, and buko pandan.

As I sat in the Thanksgiving dinner table, I just can’t help but think to myself, here I am, in my new adopted tradition, my new adopted cuisine, my new adopted extended family, and in a new adopted country. But I am still the same Pinoy, with the same thankful heart.

I join all the Filipino pilgrims in the world as well as all my countrymen back home in giving thanks. Happy Thanksgiving!